Category Archives: Humour

10,000 years ago today

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Hethal Hexlags before his launch into space in the year 1 bk

It is now exactly ten-thousand years ago that Hethal Hexlegs became the first Pellor in space and discovered Architect Krull’s hydrogen barrier that stops our atmosphere from evaporating away. His momentous discovery lead directly to the first documented communication from our owner  Architect Krull in the year 0 ak.

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Scientists had long speculated that our hydrogen atmosphere was not natural and should have drifted off into space within a period of only years.

Architect Krull’s synthetic-matter barrier was the first proof that Pellor are not a naturally occurring species and that we exist as the ornamental pets of an ancient member of the race that created this universe and others.

Ten-thousand years later tourists still queue to see Hethal’s remains preserved at the crash site.

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BFH 9001b super trike

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The new BFH 9001b super trike will run in any hydrogen atmosphere powered by oxygen fuel.

The makers the BFH corporation claim it can even out pace a running human should they invade.

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Safety equipment for refilling the pressurised oxygen tanks is an optional extra but does include suicide pills in case of oxygen contamination.

 

Mission scrubbed

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Final hospital security camera image

The last desperate message received from the hospital complex on the ice-moon Pellor-alto–7b came three hours ago. There has been nothing from the hyperspace transponder since. The navigation beacon fail only minutes after the security cameras went blank.

Infected hospital complex

Infected hospital complex

The best reconstruction of events currently available suggests the 8-1-8 nanoid virus gained entry the hospital complex via the hydrogen mines on the sublevel-19. One of the miners who extract the moon’s ices to replenish the hospital’s hydrogen atmosphere was fatally injured by falling machinery.

However, hospital porters sounded the alarm as they went to transfer the body to a slab in the mortuary. Garbled reports say the earliest symptoms of the infection were changes in skin colour followed by the growth of spikes. Doctors only arrived at the scene in time to be horribly killed and re-animated.

Eden's Avatar appeared in the audience chamber

Eden’s Avatar appeared in the audience chamber

The avatar of Eden appeared in the audience chamber unannounced to cancel our rescue mission to the hospital complex. The message reached our ship just as we entered the Pellor-alto system. After Eden stated that the minimum safe distance for the destruction of the moon would be seventeen-million klicks the captain put our Assault cruiser engine’s to full power as he turned us around.

The captain did take the time to deploy a scientific probe that will continue its approach to the moon under its own momentum. Scientists are very interested to see what happens to the moon. Our owner’s race very rarely demonstrate their powers.

High level sources indicate Eden is concerned that the 8-1-8 zombie virus may be in the process of converting the moon into more infected nebula stalkers, like the original source infection.

Nebula stalker at point of closest approach

Nebula stalker at point of closest approach

The original stalker vanished from the 24 systems owned by Architect Krull. Rumours have it that the new owner of the Earth exclusion zone has taken it for his company’s specimen repository.

Nebular stalker

Nebular stalker

 

 

Listening post

Brave researcher just outside Earth exclusion zone

Brave researcher just outside Earth exclusion zone

Researchers on a dark lonely asteroid at the edge of the Earth exclusion zone think they have a clue to the identity of the human mission specialist on route to the ice moon Pellor-alto–7b.

Sketch of nervous scene on drop deck.

Sketch of nervous scene on drop deck.

Months back, the listening post intercepted a text communication labelled “The Brigadier and the Pit”. After it was deciphered references to a female human that exploded at a press conference were found. It is understood that it is very rare for humans to spontaneously explode. The humans seem to be linking the event to what we call nanoid blasting venom. Indicating the person that exploded was modified by either of the two common nanoid viruses.